I skipped work to stalk him.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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