The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
