Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
