So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
