So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
