Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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