It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
