Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
