No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
