doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
two words: eviction party
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
