He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
