What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
