I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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