i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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