your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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