I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
