I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This is the high leading the old right now
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
