dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
