she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
