Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
