So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
