You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
its not stalking. its research.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
