i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
