Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize