Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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