so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
