The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
