You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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