why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
