He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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