I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
