I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
