stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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