So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
