I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I did not marry a roomba.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
