and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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