Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
