Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
