wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
