he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
