Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
