The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
