like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
