There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
