Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
