you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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