why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
