Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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