ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
