We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
